7 lessons learned in my painful transition from IC to manager

I never wanted to be a manager, and after 8 years, I’ve gained insights I would have liked to know before diving into the role.

8 years ago, I was unaware that my life was about to take an unexpected turn. I never aspired to become a manager. It wasn’t in my career path. But as fate would have it, I found myself becoming one. You could say I was either at the wrong place at the wrong time or, perhaps, at the right place at the right time.

Back then, my workplace had a flat structure. We were all individual contributors. However, as the company grew, the need for a managerial layer became painfully evident. So, the founders did what seemed logical at the time — they picked the most experienced people in each discipline to become managers. Sounds good on paper, right? Well, let me tell you, being a rockstar IC doesn’t automatically make you a good manager. That’s where my not-so-smooth journey began.

Despite my doubts, I accepted the challenge because, well, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do if you want to climb the career ladder? Spoiler alert: It’s not that simple.

I can’t say I regret my decision because I’ve found fulfillment as a manager. But looking back, there are 7 things I wish I’d known before diving headfirst into the role.

1. What made you a great IC won’t make you a great manager

When I started I felt like Richard Hendricks from ‘Silicon Valley’, a talented IC completely incompetent as manager.

I still remember those early weeks, sitting in meetings with my fellow managers, armed with my expertise in crafting amazing visuals. Sadly, I quickly realized that my technical knowledge, which had once been my greatest strength, was now useless in this new role.

I won’t sugarcoat it — those initial months were agonizing. All I wanted was to retreat to my beloved laptop and immerse myself in Sketch (yes, Figma hadn’t graced us with its presence back then). Each morning, the thought of facing my new responsibilities was nothing short of dreadful.

My reports, who had recently been my peers, now looked to me for guidance on their career paths, and I often found myself at a loss for answers. Meanwhile, stakeholders asked questions about things that I was entirely unfamiliar with.

Initially, I believed I could study my way to success, just as I had when starting my career as a designer. So, I delved into the management literature, covering the classics: ‘The Effective Executive’, ‘Good to Great’, and ‘The Lean Startup’. However, this proved to be another misstep because you don’t become a manager by reading about it; you become one by doing it.

I eventually realized that I had been chasing the ghost of the stereotypical manager. The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for being a manager.

The job of a manager can be vastly different depending on the product, the team, and the company. There’s no single way to do it right.

With this epiphany, I forged my own management style. While my visual and technical skills were irrelevant in my new position, it turned out that my experience in solving user problems was a powerful tool. This time, the ‘users’ were my team, fellow managers, and stakeholders — each with their distinct needs and goals.

As a manager, being an expert in the craft is no longer relevant. Your focus should shift from attempting to master every technical skill to one of service, where understanding and addressing your team’s and company's challenges becomes your day-to-day job.

2. You don’t need to be a manager to be a leader

Mike Wheeler from ‘Stranger Things’ is no manager, the gang follows him because they trust him and share his vision.

I used to wrongly believe that to lead, you needed to be a manager. It’s actually a common misconception because they do share common traits. But they are not exactly the same.

Management is all about the nitty-gritty operational stuff — setting priorities, evaluating performance, making hiring and firing decisions, and so on. It’s a role where your authority comes from your position in the hierarchy.

Leadership, on the other hand, is a different ballgame. Leaders are more like coaches, the Yodas, and Gandalfs of the workplace. They may not always have formal authority but instead rely on their influence and charisma to inspire and guide their team members. Leadership is earned, not given. And guess what? You don’t need a fancy title to be a leader.

The beauty of leadership is that it transcends titles and positions. If you excel in your craft and have empathy, passion, and good social skills, you already own the traits of a great leader. People gravitate towards inspiring leaders because they’re headed towards something remarkable.

Now, you can wear both hats — manager and leader. In fact, the most effective managers often do. They love the challenges of motivating, mentoring, and aligning their team.

Being a manager doesn’t automatically grant you the title of leader. The exciting part is that it works the other way around too. You can lead, mentor your peers, and foster innovation, all while staying rooted in your craft.

In fact, forward-thinking companies provide separate career tracks that allow you to deepen your expertise or explore the managerial role. So, before you leap into management, ask yourself if it’s truly the path you want, and if so, for all the right reasons.

3. To be a manager you need to be good at the bench not an expert in the field

Maradona was an amazing player but a terrible coach. Under his management not even Messi could prevent Argentina’s humiliation by Bolivia.

Argentina’s soccer team suffered its worst defeat, a humiliating 6–1 loss to Bolivia, under the management of the legendary Maradona (second only to Messi in terms of greatness). Sometimes, even the experts in the field can’t replicate their magic when they are in charge.

I used to believe managers had to be masters of the disciplines they manage. After all, how else could they provide valuable feedback to their reports? But the truth is that you don’t need to know it all, and you certainly don’t need to pretend to know it all. You do need fluency in the language your team speaks, but you don’t have to be a master of it.

Transitioning from an IC to a manager requires a significant shift in perspective. It might be challenging to let go of the activities that once defined your work, but it’s a necessary step in your managerial evolution.

Think of it this way — if you’re in meetings all day, it’s practically impossible to match the expertise of an IC who dedicates every second to their craft.

The best coaches aren’t necessarily the best athletes, and the best teachers aren’t always the top performers. As a manager, your role isn’t to be the know-it-all; it’s to extract the best work from your team, whether through respect or motivation. It’s about effective delegation, and failing to delegate can hinder both your growth and your team’s potential.

4. You need to sharpen your soft skills to survive

Leslie Knope from ‘Parks & Recreation’ is amazing at building relationships and negotiating with the stakeholders of her town.

You can get by having poor soft skills as an individual contributor if your hard skills are insanely good. In management, however, is the other way around. You need to have outstanding soft skills because the job is about dealing with people — stakeholders, bosses, reports, and colleagues. And people are messy.

The best managers are constantly attuned to social dynamics. They don’t rely only on gut feelings; instead, they accumulate insights to guide, communicate, and make informed decisions.

It’s about listening, understanding, negotiating and finding those sweet spots between conflicting visions.

To navigate this messiness you need a handy tool kit of conversation skills. And yes, this often means diving headfirst into a sea of meetings, where you might feel like you’re starring in your very own talk show. So, if the idea of living in meetings sends shivers down your spine, management might not be your thing.

5. Is not a dictatorship, but it’s not a democracy either

In ‘Avengers Infinity War’, Iron Man made the tough call in order to save the world.

Early in my managerial career, I was on a quest for unanimous approval from my team for every decision. I was chasing a utopian dream of a collaborative, hierarchy-free environment. But in my pursuit of universal agreement, I ended up compromising my vision.

Decision-making by consensus might sound appealing, but it can lead to delays, diluted solutions, and a lack of clear direction.

To be clear, seeking input from your team and earning their trust should always be a priority. Yet, in your role as a manager, you often possess a more comprehensive view of the organization and its priorities than your reports.

So, while it’s crucial to gather input and consider diverse perspectives before making decisions, the ultimate responsibility falls on the manager’s shoulders.

6. Management can be a lonely job

Michael Scott from ‘The Office’ finds it hard to juggle his affection for his team with his corporate responsibilities.

I love my team. Our design meetings are my favorite part of the week. I like having close relationships with my reports and I’ve even made some very good friends along the way. I want my team to see me as a peer, not as their boss. But it’s not that simple.

You can grab a beer, share some inside jokes, and passionately debate the merits of pineapple on pizza. But at the end of the day, as a manager, you’re the one conducting performance reviews and making decisions that shape their careers. Managing this duality is hard.

It’s crucial to create an environment where your team feels valued and can openly approach you. At the same time, you must acknowledge the professional boundaries that define your role as a manager.

A wise mentor once told me a harsh truth, “You can build strong connections with your reports, but remember that in their eyes, you’re also the one who could get them fired.” It’s a difficult balancing act managers must perform, maintaining personal connections while thinking about what’s best for the company.

Balancing these dual roles is challenging, but it’s this delicate equilibrium that defines management. Navigating the fine line between camaraderie and responsibility is where great managers truly shine.

7. It’s not about you; it’s about the team

Ted Lasso is the embodiment of the manager who knows that the team comes before anything else.

During my rookie year as a manager, I spent a lot of time trying to enhance my own efficiency, proactiveness, and effectiveness. I wanted to complete a checklist of manager qualities like being well-regarded, strategic, and a multitasking genius. After all, what else could make you a great manager?

With time I discovered that it wasn’t about me; it was about the team. That’s when my primary focus shifted from self-improvement to elevating my team’s skills and performance.

As a manager, you don’t actually do the tangible work; you’re mainly there to enable others to do the tangible work.

There’s no yardstick to measure your managerial prowess except your team’s performance. Imagine you’re the manager of Real Madrid soccer team. Your role isn’t to score the goals or make the tackles. Your role is to coach and strategize. If your team wins, it’s on you. But if they get on a losing streak, well, it’s also on you.

In the corporate world, it’s no different. Even if you’re the brightest, hardest-working, and most lovable manager out there, your reputation won’t hold if your team is known for mediocrity.

Do you still want to be a manager? Here is the real deal

To be a good manager, you also need to be a good leader. Your role isn’t just about providing direction but also about inspiring, motivating, and mentoring your team. Be someone people genuinely want to follow because they believe in your vision, not because of your status in the hierarchy.

Now, don’t think you have to be a jack-of-all-trades. Your strength lies in your team’s diverse talents. Learn to delegate, trust your crew, and watch them soar.

You don’t need to be an expert in every field, but you do need a good deal of conversation and negotiation skills. The job is about navigating social dynamics, and it’s through conversations that you gain the necessary insights to succeed as a manager.

To make informed decisions, it’s paramount to listen to your team. Yet, while they bring their expertise to the table, you often have a broader view of the organization’s priorities, and the responsibility for every choice is on you.

Also, balance is essential. It’s important to have close relationships with your teammates but keep in mind that tough decisions might come your way. Striking that equilibrium is the way to find fulfillment in the role.

Finally, engrain this in your memory: It’s not about you; it’s about the team. Your success is directly tied to your team’s wins. Forget about being the superhero; instead, focus on unleashing the superpowers in your squad. Guide them, trust them, and let them shine.