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How to create an authentic digital persona
Dear Al Gorithm, We Are So Broken Up!
Ditch all the toxic-crazy advice about social media
“To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path…” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dear Al Gorithm, I’m writing to tell you that we are so broken up!
I remember the day you courted me with the promise to make me famous. You whispered about “certain rules” I would need to follow. And you kept winking at me with your beautiful blue cursor. Now, I am disgusted when I think about your controlling behavior.
First, you strongly suggested I go to my profile page and replace the neutral beige banner with a bold red ribbon. I looked like a loud showoff, but you insisted it would attract a large following.
That wasn’t enough for you. You told me to alter my About section. So, I erased my humble beginnings and invented a version of myself I didn’t know and didn’t want to know.
Then, you started questioning my activity — How often do I comment on posts? Who do I follow? None of your business, you sleaze! You even hid my updated profile from the new writer in town. I still remember your exact words —
“Don’t follow her. She only has three friends. Go talk to the popular kids.”
I told you I was offering encouragement and support to the new girl, but you steered me toward gurus and glitterati with 5K+ followers. I still feel bad.
You introduced me to so many influencers. Oh, how I despised them! One of the predatory Earn-A-Thousand-Dollars-A-Day weirdos, opened his paywall to show me his starter package which, in retrospect, wasn’t that big or impressive.
You said I spoke like a hot mess and a yahoo. I assured you that I deleted Hotmail and Yahoo long ago. You laughed.
To slim down my “bloated sentences," you put me on a fad diet of hashtags and @ signs. But after a few days of this unhealthy pattern, my messaging was weak, I had no depth, and my breadth stank.
And you’re a cheating bastard! That’s right, I found out you make the same promises all over social media. You tell all the profiles that if we follow your instructions, we’ll stand out and be noticed. But the problem is —
We don’t stand out because you make us look and sound alike.
I feel better now that I know you’re just a bundle of unhelpful tips and tricks. Never again will I be driven by trends, buzzwords, or statistical analyses.
From now on I’ll post what I want, when I want!
Don’t ever reach out to me again. And I don’t want to hear from your buddies, SEO, ROI, KPI, CTA or B2B.
FU and all the best in your future endeavors.
Signed, Mya Content
